Hope - What Else Do You Need?

By Heidi Cornelissen

What keeps you going? Is it believing in something? Is it you're after something more? Or something better? Are you hoping for a positive, better outcome, perhaps? Or just waiting for a specific outcome?

"Hope is a belief in a positive outcome related to events and circumstances in one's life. Hope implies a certain amount of despair, wanting, wishing, suffering or perseverance - i.e., believing that a better or positive outcome is possible even when there is some evidence to the contrary."

We all have hopes, but perhaps don't consciously think of them as such. It's an internal flame that burns within us for some reason. It can be small or large, but it appears hopes develop within a cycle: A need for something 'more' precedes the flicker of hope. An inner anticipation then develops, which is then naturally followed by excitement and expectation. The more we move towards this, the stronger the flame burns. But if the hope is attached to an expectation, which doesn't occur, disappointment may result. Disillusion can also occur which can then be result in internal questioning, anger, despondency or even depression.

The big lesson for me personally lay within understanding the attachment to the "hoped for" outcome. I've attached many activities, plans and events to an outcome. Which doesn't necessarily happen. And now...?

A good example of hope is the picture of newly weds and the feelings they have on their wedding day. They have great hopes (because they expect nothing can go wrong) of a happy future together. Although the popular song says "Love will keep us alive"; I think it's perhaps more a case of hope keeping us all alive. The same happens on the first day of a new job. You walk into the new office full of anticipation (and nerves, obviously) - but still 'hoping' for success and happiness.

Wikipedia explains that, according to mythology, when Pandora opened her Box, she let out all the evils except one: hope. Apparently, the Greeks considered hope to be as dangerous as all the world's evils. But without hope to accompany all their troubles, humanity was filled with despair. It was a great relief when Pandora revisited her box and let out hope as well.

We obviously don't want to live in a society of despair or despondency, so I've learnt it's important to keep hope alive; but to be aware of what we're hoping for. I'm half-embarrassed to admit that I've been catching up on all the old 'Sex and the City' episodes. Charlotte specifically has been of interest - she's devotedly held on to her undying hope for "perfect love" throughout the series. She has pinned her future happiness (and at one stage, success) in finding her "one true love" and settling down as a wife and mother. But noticeably, if something goes wrong (and it inevitably does - this is Hollywood!); she crumbles. And this slowly breaks down her faith in herself. As Charlotte unfortunately doesn't do, but perhaps you may want to do, is to understand what the underlying HOPE is/was for. Is it for recognition? For love? For money? For accomplishment? For self-satisfaction? For perfection? Once you've understood that, you may want to discover your underlying needs. Charlotte (my guess) is most likely looking for love and security.

...For in spiritual terms, we need both elements, the hope and the disillusionment, to see things clearly. Harry R Moody.

My suggestion is that if you find yourself disappointed and disillusioned at all; stop yourself and look at the situation you're in - from beginning to end. What were/are your expectations?

Therefore, through looking at the unsatisfied needs may be a wiser way to re-define what you're hoping for. This may not result in a tangible outcome, but rather assist in the development of a better being-ness. A better Self. This should always feature into your path of hope - to better yourself. To become The Perfect You.

What a beautiful world to live in when you can see yourself clearly. And love yourself completely.

If you want to be happy, set a goal that commands your thoughts, liberates your energy, and inspires your hopes. Andrew Carnegie

I, Heidi Cornelissen believe in people. And their ability to become real and true to themselves.

I spent fifteen years in the Business world after completing a B Comm (Accounting) and a Masters of Business Administration (MBA). I'm able to have a balanced outlook now as the business owner of Completely Human. I'm a certified Life Coach, and have studied at the Personal Training Academy. I'm a member of the International Coaching Federation (ICF) and also hold the position of Treasurer of the James Crofts Hope Foundation in Perth.

Completely Human is about being well and having balance - this involves taking the time out to question and challenge your own assumptions, to focus on working out what your own life is really about - rather than what you or others think it should be.

Although all areas of your life appear to intrude on and provide frustration, it is easier once you divide your life into distinct areas. Completely Human allows you to be specific about changes you wish to make and formulate action plans. Things can start to make a lot of sense!

Visit http://www.completelyhuman.com to see what options are available to YOU.

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