Will They Ask Me: "What I Want From My Life?"
By Ruchi Jha
Lying quietly in my mother's womb I heard my parents planning for my future.
"He will be a doctor," I heard my father say.
"No, no. He will be a famous lawyer," my mother had responded.
I guess I had not liked any of the options but my kick was not intended. I suppose it was the after effect of the voluminous expectations my parents had from me.
"Oh the baby kicked. Come feel it," cried my mother in excitement.
I wanted my father to feel the same happiness so I kicked again. Slowly and gradually I could feel that I was growing in size and so were the expectations of my parents. One day I heard them seriously discussing on what they would like to be called.
"He will call me Pa. I really like the recent Amitabh flick and the way he calls his Dad"
"And I don't like kids calling their mothers "Mummy". It seems as if we are already dead and are being preserved," was Mom's curt reply.
I was confused.
It was dinner time and I really abhorred the green dish Mom was eating. But then before I could respond I could hear her say.
"Children these days are mad after junk food. Give them a burger, pizza and they will not want anything. My child will love dishes like palak paneer."
Dad did not reply to this. I guess he did not like the palak paneer as well and was concentrating hard on finishing it from his plate.
I was confused again.
I was forced to wake up in the morning with the shrill sound of some instrument playing in the background and an old man chanting mantras. I guess Mom was listening to what she called as "bhajan".
"Oh not again," I thought in my mind but I was helpless. It was not tough for me to decipher that it was Dad's turn to listen to some "gyaan" when Mom said, "Why don't you come and listen to bhajans? I want my child to grow up with these values rather than the hip hop and party culture prevalent these days. Dad was in no mood to listen to it and replied, "I trust you with that. Go ahead, I will join you later." At that moment I felt like giving my Dad a high five. But then I felt sad as he left for office without feeling pity on me. For me there was no rescue. So lying inside I could sense heap of expectations being laid on me. And I could feel excruciating pain in my tiny body. At that moment I was crowded by questions raised by my mind. I was gripped by dilemma whether I would be able to bear the heaviness of all those expectations which will be levied on me day on day till I live? Would I turn out to be a rebel and do whatever I felt was good?
As days passed, my parents started eagerly waiting for my arrival into the world but I was still confused and a question lingered in my mind:
"Will they ever ask me what I want from my life?"
The above article states the thought process of a child while he is still in the mother's womb and how he responds to his parent's reactions in the outside world. The parents have already started expecting from the child who has not even stepped into this world. All the child wants to ask is that will he be asked about what he wanted to do with his life or throughout his life he would have to carry the heap of expectation levied on him. The article would definitely make you ponder and at times you would relate with yourself too.
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