Choosing Hope Over Fear

By Dr. Angel R. AdamsCo-Author: Dr Patricia Papciak

"There is no medicine like hope, no incentive so great, and no tonic so powerful as expectation of something better tomorrow." - Orison Marden.

On the 20th of January, 2009 I was co-facilitating a social skills group for children with Asperger Syndrome and ADHD. It was comprised of boys aged 9 to 11 at the NHS and we were fortunate to be in a room where there was a colour TV. Towards the end of the group I switched it on just as President Barack Obama was being sworn into office. I knew that the boys would remember this day in history just as I did when I was a young child watching JFK's presidential inauguration on a black-and-white television. This time it was thrilling to watch it on a big colour screen and even more earth-shaking to know that this man was the son of an African and an American taking the oath of office. As Obama was captivating millions on TV through his eloquence and brilliance as an orator, it suddenly became very quiet in the room and the boys were spell-bound as they listened to his every word. After his speech the most amazing thing happened: the boys' topics of conversations changed... they were deeper, more thoughtful... no more talk about Batman and Dr Who. Instead they began sharing spontaneously about their families, their ethnicity, their values and their hopes.

I was deeply moved and inspired by Barack Obama's speech. His positive but realistic outlook was refreshing and so needed. I thought about the kids that I work with and how frightened they can be of change, and how hope is a critical component in giving us courage to make changes. It is just easier and less threatening to stay in the comfort zone. But this president gives us hope! During his election campaign he kept saying "Yes we can!" He invoked it over and over again, which makes it clear to me that we have to do the same thing because it really is effective. We must remind ourselves over and over again "Yes I can!". We must say to our children... "Yes you can!" Every child has amazing potential... as proven so palpably by Obama.

On a broader perspective, it made me realise how much emphasis our governments have focused on fear. Fear of terrorists, fear of the recession, the haemorrhaging banks, fear of the enemies, fear of other ethnicities and religions, and fear of our differences.

Now there is a new focus. It encourages us to make a commitment to peace, to education, to hard work, to aspiration, to the human spirit, to resilience, to new belief systems. Our fear and our resistance to change is more likely to be overcome when we are equipped with hope. Obama also brought forth the message that we need to be accountable for change and for the hard work ahead and not just leave it up to the government to make those changes. It made me think back to my childhood when I heard JFK's request to "Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country". Thus, we can either criticise the climate of our country or we can get up and do our part to make it better somehow. It's about giving more then we take. Obama's leadership will encourage all of us to use more of our own ingenuity and resourcefulness. For example, I hope that there will be more volunteering, especially by our youth, increased responsibility on our parts for clean energy, and more tolerance for one another.

Hopeful parents understand and teach their children that when life is burdened with bad news and misfortunes, hope makes us look forward to a better tomorrow. It gives us a sense of purpose, inspires us, and offers healing and strength both physically and psychologically. Hope is what causes the plantsto blossom from their seeds and makes us know that spring will follow winter, and that light comes after darkness.

Hopeful parents know they have a responsibility to instill hope in their children. I am inspired by Obama's steadfast commitment that hopefulness means to dream of a better future, where so much is possible for our children. Even during this current climate, hopeful parents will realise this is actually an ideal time to practice gratitude, to be disciplined, to be creative. It's a time to invest in ourselves, our children and our families, and to plant the seeds for the future. We must believe that the economy will eventually turn around and role-model this as hopeful parents, not fearful parents.

Vaclav Havel (poet-playwright-activist-leader) describes hope as "An attribute we carry in us always, a state of being that is not dependent on outcomes. Hope is a dimension of the soul. ... an orientation of the spirit, an orientation of the heart. It transcends the world that is immediately experienced and is anchored somewhere beyond its horizons. ... It is not the conviction that something will turn out well, but the certainty that something makes sense regardless of how it turns out." I think Obama is saying something very similar - hope is seen in the attitude you take and in how you live, which will in the long run make things turn out well! He has asked us to "Hope in the face of difficulty. Hope in the face of uncertainty. The audacity of hope! In the end, that is God's greatest gift to us, the bedrock of this nation. A belief in things not seen. A belief that there are better days ahead".

© 2009 Dr Angel Adams & Dr Patricia Papciak. All Rights Reserved.

© 2009 Dr. Angel Adams. All Rights Reserved.

http://www.prosocial.co.uk

Dr Angel Adams is a highly experienced clinical psychologist and is known as a leading advocate for parents, grandparents and foster carers in the UK. Dr Adams' expertise is in assessing, diagnosing and treating children with complex psychological and neurodevelopmental disorders. She has a private practice is in Kingston, Surrey where, over the years her work has been particularly focused on running specialised groups for children, adolescents and adults. She runs parent management training and has conducted research on group intervention for children with ADHD which she has presented at the International CHADD conference. She appeared on the BBC2's Horizon science programmes featured 'Living with ADHD'. Since 1994, she has been a guest speaker at many conferences and seminars across the UK, Europe and USA. She has also chaired conferences on ADHD.

Dr Angel Adams has worked as a clinician for over 27 years. Originally licensed as a Clinical Psychologist in America, she is also a BPS Chartered Clinical Psychologist. Dr Adams received her PhD from the California School of Professional Psychology (CSPP), a school within Alliant International University.

Her work involves assessment and diagnosis, psychometric testing, and implementation of therapeutic interventions for looked after children, children/adolescents and adults with a broad range of diagnoses. For the past six years she has co-run a weekly ADHD Assessment Clinic at CAMHS with a Consultant Child and Adolescent Psychiatrist and a Community Paediatrician. Dr Adams provides evidence-based treatment including parent-training, support groups for siblings, consultation to schools, and social skills training.

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